It’s dead

At about 3 yesterday afternoon it was 107 degrees here in the Valley. As I was working on the project the computer began responding very slowly. It’s an old system, that’s nothing new. Then smoke started coming out of the case. That is new. On investigation I found the fan on the northbridge had seized sometime in the past and the chip was now totally fucked. As any of you who are familiar with computers are aware, having part of your motherboard burn out pretty much fucks your system. The computer will boot, and I can get to my files (fortunately, my manuscripts are fine), but it will not run anything more complex than notepad without severe lag and loss. Not even music or video.

So. This is it. This is me throwing in the towel. I’ve done pretty much everything I possibly can to keep with this project, even to the point of turning down other opportunities that might have helped my career. I just can’t do that anymore. I reached the end of my rope a while ago and let go, all I’m finding at the bottom are sharp rocks.

“Fuck you, you’re a faggot, die in hell.” I hear you saying. Eh. Whatever. I’ve lived in crippling poverty long enough at this point that I don’t really have any pride left for you to needle at. I sleep on a floor and eat rice I payed for with donations I received for editing a compilation of jerk off material.

“You’re such a fucking liar.” I hear you say (and have received multiple emails already describing me as such). Man, I really, really, really wish I was. I wish I was kicking back in a nice air conditioned apartment in front of a fully functioning computer. I also wish Emma Stone and Jennifer Lawrence would stop by for a blow job contest. End of the day, it really doesn’t matter whether you believe me or not. Your inability to accept my situation does not change my situation.

Now, if I can ever get back to a point where I have a computer, and once I’ve crawled out of the deepest depression I’ve felt since I lost my grandpa, I’ll be willing, able, even eager to work with other editors on putting together a Fap Hero project. If you want to step in and take over FH 2, you have my blessing. I’ll even communicate whatever ideas or help I can through email.  I can’t be the only faggot here who knows editing, encoding, and talking all sexy like.

As I am no longer able to contribute content, I will be taking down the donation link. My deepest and most heartfelt thanks to those who kept me in rice, things to chop into said rice, and a nice relaxing smoke on my birthday.

P.S. If the news happens to report a homeless looking man stomping on a broken computer in front of the Universal-Comcast building and screaming “Fuck you, you Dickensian misers! One percent, backstabbing, exploitative fucks!” It’s me. It’s me, I’ve lost it, and let them take me. At least prison has air conditioning and three square a day.


More Update (a.k.a. Fuck)

So, my power went out for the entire fucking weekend taking the AC, the lights, every scrap of food in the fridge, and my second hard drive with it. Fortunately, the whole project wasn’t on the drive that died. Unfortunately, I have to go back and do a few rounds all over again. VERY fortunately, I’m being lent a stable external to store the project on.

I’m going to stop tempting fate. Every time I’ve given a tentative release date on here something fucking shitty happens to me (though I will note that losing the power isn’t as bad as contracting a skin disease without insurance).

So, it’s going to be done. It WILL be done THIS FUCKING MONTH, even if it fucking kills me. I wish it could be out now. Shit, I wish it could’ve been out when it was supposed to be. But this is all I got in me. I’m sorry.

Though much is taken, much abides; and though
We are not now that strength which in old days
Moved earth and heaven, that which we are, we are,
One equal temper of heroic hearts,
Made weak by time and fate, but strong in will
To strive, to seek, to find, and not to yield.

TL;DR I got a one way ticket to sadness town and the breaks seem to have gone out on the depression train. Also, I said ‘fuck’ a lot.


Had some health problems crop up that stole a few days from me, but I’m fine now (if a little spent and with unpleasant skin issues). Still plugging away. It’s really looking (at this pace and considering the frequency of recent distractions) like it’ll be the first week in September. Sorry if that disappoints, but I’m working on turning an opportunity into a break during the daylight hours right now.

If you 100% can’t wait another minute for Fap Hero funtimes, there’s an editor over on /h/mv who goes by the name Gu and he made one that caused me to spend several tearful hours drinking while watching his superior technical knowledge unfold. It’s pretty damn good, is what I’m saying. No host, but that shit is time intensive and those of you who are more into the fap focused side of things might enjoy the absence as it doesn’t distract from the material. (NOTE: There’s some loli in it. If you’re not a fan of loli you shouldn’t write it off, though. Just skip round 3 and the second reward round and you’re golden.)

Check out Gu’s Fap Hero on either Mega:!CVYVCLZa!R8p9YvxHu8EndDoirGF7UA



Props to Gu. Glad to have such good company in the Fap Herosphere, even if the quality of your work is intimidating. And we miss you Blue/s/(but totally understand).

Update For the Patient

Howdy y’all. Progress has been slow and difficult but at least there’s some progress. I think I have codecs, encoding, et al. in a solid state. Wound up not using Lagrith since just my source files would have been nearly a terabyte, UV works fine so far. 


Had a setback. Got replies from all of the publishers I sent my book to and none bit. Got depressed. Agency I was courting to manage my acting decided to pull some treacherous shit and leave me high and dry. Got more depressed. My 2 dollar an hour job got most of the work sent to India devaluing said work to 50 cents an hour. Quit job. Got very, very depressed. Spent pitiful last check on grass. Proceeded to get undepressed. Now back to working on this sumbitch while trying to self-publish. (not giving out details, I’d prefer to remain as just some faggot online and unknown offline) 

As a result of said stressful events it has been extremely hard to muster energy, let alone arousal. I’m really hoping it’s not effecting my work. That said, I’ve been putting a lot of careful effort in so I think it’ll be pretty good.


TL;DR Boo hoo, whine, my penis.


Release: Late August. Let’s call it the last weekend to be safe. If that isn’t soon enough I can’t really do much for you.

 P.S. As always, thank you for the encouragement (and even offers of help (they are appreciated, but I’m wary of online co-ops)).


P.P.S. I have no clue where Blue/s/ got to. Nor his Fap Hero project. I am not in contact with him so I cannot give updates, sorry. Please stop asking. 🙂

No, it’s not done yet.

I’m working on it. I’m also working what amounts to a 2 dollar an hour job to keep the bill collectors at bay while doing overnight shoots on student films for free so that someday I might not have to work a 2 dollar an hour job.

I’m hoping to have FH 2 finished in August. I haven’t been updating because I haven’t had anything huge to update with. Right now I’m working on Round 1 and trying to get some decent screencaps for dialogue boxes.

Breath play is scrapped, I’ve got too much on the plate already to worry about making it work. There’s going to be two reward rounds. One ‘vanilla’, one with futa’n’such that will have a timestamp for skipping. There will be an optional beat bar during the rest periods for those who don’t feel like stopping. There will be either two versions or a dual audio track. I don’t know yet. I don’t even want to think about voice right now.

I truly appreciate y’all’s passion, but I’m not a deadlines kind of guy. Just a faggot.


Right, just a couple features that I want to clear before I go nuts with them. Pretty simple yes/no votes here.

First up is breath play. Basically, the directions might include holding your breath or matching your breathing with the fap rhythm. Nothing more radical than that, I’m not out to kill anyone (excepting la petite mort).


Second, should I try and get VA’s. I know there are a few kinky VA’s on /soc/ and I might be able to interest a few of the girls I know. No promises, but is this something that matters enough to you for me to pursue it. IF I do so it WILL add to production time. You can’t rush art and I’m fairly picky.

Back at it.

What up folks? So…back on my brother’s floor. And damn glad to have a place to stay. On the good news side of things my brother and his wife found out about FH and think it’s A: Hilarious and B: Sort of cool (they’re pretty kinky people). So I’ve got a lot more leeway to work now. HUZZAH!

Fap Hero 2 is now in production. I have Plans and I intend the new project to improve upon the last.

-Tutorial round for those wondering what the hell to do.

-More explicit directions.

-Beat change warnings (and possibly a bigger beat bar)

-If my dumb ass can figure out how to do it, encoding that makes some kind of sense.

-Grip Variations



(actual ruurus may vary)(image by R!P)

Keep in mind I’m JUST getting started on it so it’ll be a few months. In the meantime stay tuned for a Fap Hero project from Blue/s over on 4chan. It looks like he’s doing an awesome job and I can’t wait to see it.